Conflict is unavoidable because our beliefs often contrast greatly with those around us.
I have been working hard on how I perceive and deal with conflicts when they arise. I believe that the key to finding the wisdom concealed in conflict is to address the matter from as calm a state of mind as you can muster in the heat of the moment and remember: This conflict may be happening to teach you a specific life lesson, so be sure to keep your ears and eyes open for what that lesson could be. Take a deep breath and think about what you could learn as a result of the disagreement, then make a conscious CHOICE to release any of the anger or resentment you feel.
As you make the choice to let go of anger (which is only hurting you), you will feel a weight lift and you will perceive the situation in a whole new light, even if your adversary’s mindset remains the same. Start to consider that you both probably have compelling reasons for thinking and feeling as you do. Accept that you have no power to change your adversary’s point of view – so simply seek to approach your disagreement from a rational state of mind with a steady voice and the willingness to compromise. This will help you meet any conflict with an open heart and open ears. This will help you become less judgmental which is a beautiful and wonderful quality to have. It will also help you become more compassionate, empathetic and patient.
I hope you all learn from my mistakes and put something I said above into practice! If I missed something that has worked for you, please be sure to share it in the comments below.
With much love,
Kate
In the past year as I edge my way towards 22 (so old, right) I’ve noticed the changes I’ve been making in how I deal with my own conflicts. Far from perfect but I’m making progress. Lovely post.
-Jocellyn
Love it. Thank you!
Well, it depends on the anger. When I am upset that someone is being ridiculed, especially someone defenseless, I embrace that anger and take that perpetrator to task for his meanness. But if it is anger because it rained on the day I wanted a picnic, or someone didn`t notice my new haircut, or even because I got a C in class, I let it go. That is petty anger, and should be let go of, though righteous anger is good.